For Reasons Unknown
by Obi the Kid
Summary: Pre-TPM, non-slash. (Obi-Wan is 16) Obi-Wan finds out that a close friend of his has become a casualty of war.


TITLE: For Reasons Unknown  
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid  
E-MAIL: hlnkid@aol.com  
RATING: PG  
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM, non-slash. (Obi-Wan is 16) Obi-Wan finds out that a close friend of his has become a casualty of war.  
FEEDBACK: Always appreciated.  
ARCHIVE: Please ask first.  
MY WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/  
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.  
  
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For Reasons Unknown  
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Qui-Gon Jinn approached his apprentice. Since the end of the last mission the boy had been extremely quiet. To quiet. The mission had been routine. A simple peace treaty. Nothing that might cause unsettled feelings in either Jedi. Yet, Obi-Wan was different. He sat alone on the couch, staring absently at the images flashing on the monitor in front of him. If he sensed his master approaching, the awareness did not show.  
  
The soft cushions sagged slightly as Qui-Gon settled onto the couch. He placed a hand on the knee of his slumped padawan.  
  
"Obi-Wan? There is something troubling you. Would you care to talk about it?"  
  
A short, sorrowful glace into Qui-Gon's eyes and the young Jedi turned quickly away. He shrugged his shoulders and returned his attention to the holo-monitor.  
  
"Padawan?"  
  
"It's nothing, Master," he replied without taking his eyes from the screen.  
  
"Obi-Wan, you've been brooding around this apartment for the last two days. There is something. I can sense that much from you."  
  
But he refused to take his attention away from the screen.   
  
Then for the first time Qui-Gon looked to see what was playing on the monitor. The news network was giving updates on the latest casualties and fatalities in the war on the planet of Gana. Seven months ago, the Jedi had been called in to help as peacemakers in the war. It was a war that could affect the entire balance of the galaxy if not stopped. In the process of attempting to negotiate peace, several Jedi had been killed. The most current list of names of the injured and dead was now displayed on the monitor. Qui-Gon watched closely and there he saw it. The name J'cek Veras. The master's heart dropped. Padawan J'cek Veras was a good friend to Obi-Wan. They'd only known each other a year, but J'cek was always able to bring a smile to Obi-Wan's face. It was a change that Qui-Gon was delighted to see, as he knew his apprentice was many times much to serious about things. He worked so hard at being a Jedi, that he occasionally forgot how to enjoy life. In the past year, J'cek had helped to change that. He and Obi-Wan had become close friends and spent much of their free time in friendly competition.   
  
J'cek and his master, Damar Keller, had been one of the first master-padawan teams dispersed to Gana. Master Keller, well known for his abilities in negotiation, was an obvious choice to send. His apprentice, even at his young age, was quickly learning the trait from his teacher, and had become a most capable negotiator of his own.   
  
Padawan J'cek Veras was now a casualty of war. His name hovered on the screen for a moment. Killed two days ago. Dead at the age of fifteen.  
  
Qui-Gon turned back to his apprentice. "Obi-Wan. I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
The sixteen-year-old boy shrugged again. "I don't know. Maybe because I don't want to believe it? Maybe if I keep repeating that it's not true, then it will all turn out to be a bad dream. He's not dead. He can't be dead. I just talked to him a week ago. No, he's not dead. I will not believe it. He's not dead, Master."  
  
"Obi-Wan..." Qui-Gon tried to offer comfort. He placed a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder and spoke softly to him. But the boy pulled away. He didn't want empty words of pity. He wanted his friend, alive and by his side. He wanted the pain in his heart to go away. He wanted to be left alone.   
  
"Master, please. I don't want to hear any of your words. They can't help me. I just want to sit here, alone for a while."  
  
Qui-Gon nodded. He could feel the distress from the young man. Obi-Wan's shields were in a weakened state right now and the master easily saw into his thoughts. But he refused to intrude. He would honor his wishes and leave him to himself. For now. With a squeeze to Obi-Wan's shoulder, he left the common area.   
  
A padawan was dead. And it meant that there was a grieving master left behind. Qui-Gon was not close friends with Master Damar Keller, but since J'cek and Obi-Wan had become tighter, he had come to consider Damar more than just an aquaintance. And he knew from experience, the most difficult pain a master can face is the loss of an apprentice.   
  
~*~  
  
Later that evening, after unsuccessful attempts to locate Master Damar, Qui-Gon found Obi-Wan still on the couch in front of the monitor. Only this time he was curled on his side and in a restless sleep. The feelings of sadness coming from Obi-Wan were overwhelming. Qui-Gon felt them as strongly as he might feel emotions of his own. Perhaps he should wake his apprentice, get some food into him. Perhaps he should move him into his bedroom and allow him to sleep more comfortably. Perhaps he should leave him as he is and use the Force to aid his sleep.   
  
Qui-Gon decided to leave him be and allow him rest where he was. Pulling a blanket from the arm of the couch, he gently draped it over the padawan. Then he made himself comfortable in a chair close by. Picking up a book from the table, he settled in for the night.  
  
~*~  
  
Obi-Wan woke up in the middle of the night when he felt as if he was being watched. He found Qui-Gon staring back at him in the moon-lit darkness. Concern was evident in the older man's face. "What time is it?"  
  
"It's almost two in the morning. Go back to sleep, Padawan."  
  
"I don't need a babysitter, Master. I am fine. You can go sleep in your own bed," he said with irritation.  
  
"I know you don't need a babysitter, Obi-Wan."  
  
"Then why are you out here in the middle of the night?"  
  
"Because I am your master and I am worried about you."  
  
Obi-Wan curled tighter into the blanket and spoke with desperation. "I thought maybe if I went to sleep, that I would wake up in the morning and find everything was okay."  
  
"I know," Qui-Gon replied sadly. He wanted so much to help his apprentice, despite the fact that Obi-Wan was trying to push him away, but words failed him now. Anything he said would seem empty. And Obi-Wan had already stated that he did not want to hear any words of pity.   
  
Silence descended on the room for a few moments and just when Qui-Gon thought his apprentice has fallen asleep he heard a shuddering breath escape the form on the couch. Obi-Wan regained his composure quickly however and spoke without picking his head from the pillow. "I suppose this is the will of the Force. You always tell me that. Everything happens for a reason, right? Tell me why this happened. Tell me why I lost my friend to some damn war that we can't do anything about. Tell me why Master Damar will never see his apprentice again." He paused for a moment. Readjusting his head on the pillow and tightening his hold on the blanket.   
  
Qui-Gon had no reply for his student. All he could do was sit and allow his head to fall into his hands in exasperation.   
  
"You can't answer those questions can you, Master? It's so easy to use that line that everything happens for a reason. But then something like this happens...there is no reason for it. Nothing you can say will bring J'cek back. Nothing you can say will stop this aching pain in my chest. He's gone forever, isn't he?"  
  
Obi-Wan knew his quivering voice would last no longer, and he let the last question lie. Quietly he submitted to his emotions and he pulled the blanket up over his head to hide those emotions from his master. Qui-Gon listened as complete realization hit his padawan, and the boy lost the last bit of control that he possessed. Several muffled sobs made themselves heard from under the blanket and all Qui-Gon could force himself to do was to close his eyes and reach out for the comfort of the Force. The same Force that Obi-Wan had so easily lashed out at just moments before. The master's own emotions were warring now. The Force had chosen to take Padawan J'cek. But why? Qui-Gon found that he too was having a difficult time fully accepting the words that he'd used so many times before. 'Everything happens for a reason.' There was no reason for young J'cek Veras to have been called by the Force at such an age. There was no reason for a master to have to mourn the loss of such a young life. There was no reason for close friends to be left behind with only memories. As he heard the continuing soft sobs of his padawan huddled on the couch, Qui-Gon found that for the first time in a long time, he was questioning the Force and it's wisdom.   
  
As the minutes went by and Obi-Wan did not quiet, Qui-Gon finally gave up on attempting to find the peace that he sought. He pushed his uncertainties about the Force aside and moved to his padawan's side. His own emotions could wait. Those of the distraught boy curled into himself on the couch could not.   
  
He settled his large frame on the very edge of the couch and reached up and took a firm hold to one the hands that clutched the blanket. He fully expected Obi-Wan to pull away, to resist the effort of his teacher to offer comfort. But surprisingly, the smaller hand tightened around the larger one, causing some momentary discomfort as the skin on the older man's hand was pinched. With his free hand, Qui-Gon pulled the blanket off Obi-Wan's face. The bluish light from the moon that shone thru the window allowed Qui-Gon to see the glistening tear tracks that trailed down the young face. He ran a hand through the ginger-colored hair and then rested it on the thin shoulder.   
  
"Obi-Wan," he said hesitantly, unsure how his intrusion would be accepted. The hand around his became tighter as Qui-Gon caught the pain in the boy's eyes. "Padawan, you need to sleep now. Tomorrow we will be able to see things clearer."  
  
"And he'll still be dead."  
  
"I know. And I'm sorry. I know you're hurting inside. I've lost many friends in my lifetime. It's never easy."  
  
"But this was senseless, Master. Why are Jedi being sent to that planet? Nothing good is coming of it."  
  
"We must protect that planet in order to protect all others. It's that important. J'cek did not die in vain. There will be an end to this. One the he would have helped to bring about." Qui-Gon didn't know if he believed his own words, but he hoped it would help settle Obi-Wan.  
  
"But how many more Jedi have to die before that end comes?"  
  
Qui-Gon sighed in frustration, searching for any words to help him now. "I don't know, Obi-Wan. I wish I had answers for you. Perhaps our role in this crisis will be re-evaluated now."  
  
"No answers. Why don't you ask the Force for answers?" He replied sarcastically. "Maybe it will tell you why it chooses the way it does. It could tell you everything, if you wanted it to. Everything except why J'cek is dead."  
  
It was obvious that Obi-Wan was not in an accepting or forgiving mood, and Qui-Gon gave up on trying to force anything on him. Right now he needed support. Support in the form of action rather than words. Qui-Gon carefully readjusted his position on the couch, lifting Obi-Wan's back slightly to he could slide in next to him. The boy wasted no time in resting his head on his master's shoulder as the blanket was drawn up around his chest. Qui-Gon put an arm around his apprentice and drew him closer. Without using words he lured Obi-Wan into much needed sleep. Tomorrow would be an even more difficult day.   
  
~*~  
  
The next morning, Qui-Gon was able to determine that Master Keller had yet to return from Gana. He would be arriving today as he escorted the body of his slain apprentice.   
  
Obi-Wan requested to be there when the ship touched down. He wanted to see his friend one last time before funeral preparations.   
  
He and his master stood silently as the transport shuttle landed. Within seconds, passengers began to depart and medical personnel ran in. Several wounded Jedi were immediately met by healers and rushed to the medical ward. The last to come down the ramp of the ship was Master Damar Keller. He flanked the floating stretcher to his right. The battered body of his apprentice lay with a thin white sheet covering his bloodied tunics. Damar's face was blank but still etched with incredible pain. His entire world had come down on him with the death of his student.   
  
He allowed the healers to lead the way as he followed. The small procession stopped as Obi-Wan came to the side of his friend and squeezed the lifeless hand. "J'cek..." was all he could say before his voice gave out. Qui-Gon was there in an instant as Obi-Wan stood and stared at the body before him.   
  
Master Damar put a hand on the young Jedi's shoulder. "Thank you, Obi-Wan for being here to greet us. It means a great deal. Thank you as well, Qui-Gon. I am pleased that J'cek was able to touch your lives as he did mine. However, we must be leaving now. You understand. I would hope to see you soon though. Perhaps we can talk. Share our memories about my padawan."  
  
Obi-Wan nodded his head. "Yes, Master Damar. I would like to do that."  
  
Taking this opportunity to offer a friendly presence, Qui-Gon broke in. "Damar, If I can help at all, please let me know."  
  
"Thank you, Qui-Gon," Damar smiled. "I will take you up on that offer. Once things have settled and my padawan is at peace with the Force, I shall want to speak with you. I know you have lost an apprentice. Lost in a different way, yes, but it is a pain that I believe you know very well."  
  
"That I do," he agreed and squeezed the younger master's shoulder. "Come, Obi-Wan. Let the healers work."   
  
Slowly, Obi-Wan backed away. The sadness on his face moving into his heart. New tears began to fall as he watched J'cek's body being led away. "I...guess I was still holding out that this all might be a bad dream. It...it's not," he paused. "I want him back, Master. I don't want to have to deal with this. I just want my friend back."  
  
Again lost for words, Qui-Gon would let his actions speak for him. He pulled Obi-Wan to him and wrapped his long arms around the emotionally exhausted boy. Obi-Wan fell into the embrace and stayed there until his master moved to escort them out.  
  
~*~  
  
A week later, there was a chime at the door. Obi-Wan bounded up quickly from the chair he'd been camped out in as he watched the latest news updates about the war. He was surprised to see Master Damar standing in the doorway. The tall master, with his dark hair, brown skin and well-built frame made him a very imposing figure. But his emerald green eyes held nothing but kindness. "Hello, Obi-Wan. Is your master here?"  
  
"Yes. Please come in, Master Damar. I'll get Master Qui-Gon." And he hurried off into the back of the apartment.   
  
Damar grinned at the young Jedi's energy. He'd known now why Obi-Wan and J'cek had gotten along so well and had become such close friends. Obi-Wan's face still showed the sadness for the loss, but he was attempting to move on. Damar was pleased to see that and even envied the boy. He himself was having the most difficult time putting the death of his apprentice behind him. It had only been a week, true, but he seemed more lost in grief than he had just days after it had happened. Yet he refused to shut himself away. He needed support from friends and other Jedi. He needed to know that life did not end when an apprentice was lost. So was the time he chose to call on Qui-Gon.  
  
Qui-Gon greeted Damar with a firm grasp of the hand and a supportive touch to his shoulder. "It's good to see you. Have a seat, please. How are you?"  
  
They made themselves comfortable in the common area, Qui-Gon offering his friend a hot cup of herbal tea. "I admit, Qui-Gon, I am having a hard time dealing with J'cek's death. I still look for him every morning. Expecting him to come running out of his room after waking up late, as usual. I don't know how many times I explained to him the importance of timeliness. But he was young. So young. And...I miss him."  
  
With Obi-Wan at his side, Qui-Gon gave his undivided attention to the grieving master sitting across from him. He witnessed the immense pain flooding from the man. For all intensive purposes, he'd lost a son. There were no words to offer that would change things. There was only words to offer support. Words to let a friend know that he was not alone and that he would never be.   
  
Long into the talk, Damar's words began to echo Obi-Wan's. "I used to tell J'cek that the Force did things for a reason. There was always a reason. There is no reason for my padawan's death, was there? Perhaps the Force has its weaknesses just as we do."  
  
"Yes, perhaps it does." Qui-Gon replied, as his thoughts turned once again to his growing uncertainty about the Force and it's mysterious ways. After a few moments, he refocused himself and devoted his attention to his fellow Jedi. "Damar, tell me more about J'cek. What are your happiest memories of him?"  
  
Obi-Wan smiled as Master Damar launched into a story about an incident involving the two apprentices that had happened not to long ago. Qui-Gon had heard the tale from his own student after the fact. But as he watched Damar talk about his own padawan with such pride in his eyes, he felt good inside. He could see that the younger master was taking the right steps to deal with this loss. Lingering questions about the Force aside, Qui-Gon put an arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders and together they encouraged their friend to share memories about an apprentice named J'cek Veras.  
  
END 


End file.
